Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
