I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
