Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
