Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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