I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
