Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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