I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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