oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
