Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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