Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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