we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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