Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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