I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
