turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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