i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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