is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
