My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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