Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
