im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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