Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sext me about skeletons
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
