6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
how drunk are you?
Several
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
