I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
