just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
the liver wants what the liver wants
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
