Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
