I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
