You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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