Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm really busy with my period
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