You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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