when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
