apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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