My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
how does that bad decision feel?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize