I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
