eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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