whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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