so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
