My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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