but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
