so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
