you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
