I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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