I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
