just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
