You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
