Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
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I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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