Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
