and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
