dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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