Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
