Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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