i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.