Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I miss vodka workout Fridays
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.