Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.