So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
