you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
