I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
