I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I smell like Dick and happiness
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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