their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
