no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
