Too much gin, very little bucket
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
