It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.