And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando