Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
