I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize