i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
