i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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