your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
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I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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