we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
