The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Alive.
So much puke
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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